Labels: Side One Dummy
Review by: Andy Malcolm
This is some cd sponsored by some shitty company that I won’t mention the name of. It is
probably the anti-Collective cd, dishing out almost everything we have no time for. Plus a
Lucero song. Pfft. The problem really though is that all this stuff is aimed at 12-16 year
olds, and I am 27 and a half. So how on earth am I supposed to appreciate it? Its not going
to happen, I’m too fucking old to review this.
Gratitude – remember when the Get Up Kids made their shitty lp, “Something to Write Home
About”? Gratitude do. I reckon this is actually a song off that record, the vocals even
sound the same. Horribly catchy. Horribly. If I was drunk as a twit, me and Simon would be
hugging to this at the Waterfront, and I would be emo dancing.
Blink 182 – its Blink, it’ll sound just like you expect. Catchy and poppy. Nowhere near as
fun as their really catchy stuff, so therefore this is awful. Sounds thin and lifeless.
Taking Back Sunday – amazing emo like Indian Summer and Embassy! Actually, it just bland and
melodic rock music. But you knew that already.
Motion City Soundtrack – It sounds like if A were an mtv-mo band. So mid-paced and dull.
These bands seem to know which melodies and stuff are really catchy and so forth, but that
makes it ridiculously cookie cutter. I actually got to the end of this song because it was
pretty short.
MxPx – dire
Lucero – A tad surprised to see them on here, maybe they are changing direction. Listen to
their ‘Attic Tapes’ album for some really good stuff. This is like if the guy from Red 40
sung punky country type song. Thats because it is the guy from Red 40. So this comes across
like a really middle of the road Jawbreaker, but I like it anyway.
Death Cab for Cutie – ‘the new year’. This is off their last album, its nice and swirly
indie rock. Built to Spill are a better listen, but I still enjoy DCFCs music.
Fall Out Boy – acoustic shite.
The Bled – METAL! shockingly hilarious. So many aspects of wank here.
Rise Against – catchy melodic rock stuff with bad vocals and punky riffs. Not terrible in context to the rest of the songs on here, but in context to the rest of your record collection, it is.
Piebad – I can’t stand this band. Absolutely hideous rock music with a piano. At least listen to Ben Folds Five instead of this tripe. This is evil.
Lydia – Really sucky rock music. This is as bad as bad.
Alexisonfire – Someone give him a hose. METAL up your arse. Someone put some metal up these guys arses. Painfully. There are sung bits. Horrendous.
Funeral for a Friend – These guys are still going? Its like if Texas is the Reason had everything that made them good filtered out and replaced with nu-metal cliches.
The Sounds – some crappy dance remix. next.
VCR – Poppy ‘dance’ crap with a keyboard. Some misguided attempt at ripping off a million other terrible bands.
The Kinison – Dull rock music.
Saosin – More dull rock music. Are we nearly finished?
Name Taken – haha! great band name. name taken! do you see? haha! This is no more distinguishable from any other mid-paced rock band with generic cliches and delusions of emo.
Street Dogs – my brain has leaked out of my ear. Uncredible rock music. I have no adjectives left to describe these things. Good lord.
Recover – rubbish
Murder by Death – the name tells you all you need to know. i.e that the band is rubbish
Mae – It’s Vanessa Mae playing the four seasons on a violin!
Bedouin Soundclash – some kids trying to rip off Simon & Garfunkel or something. Dorks.
And there you have it. 80 minutes that I condensed into 20. And there have been 3 of these comps? I am making that noise that Sideshow Bob does when he keeps stepping on rakes in that episode of the Simpsons.