Labels: Victory
Review by: Andy Malcolm
Ah, the travails of the reviewer. I have piles of stuff sitting there that needs writing about and I barely get round to listening to records I want to listen to, let alone ones I don’t want to listen to. And then I have to ask, why send something for review unless it is for sale. But I am going to review it anyway, just so I can exorcise my HATE AND ANGER FOR THINGS THAT DON@T MATTER> LIKE THIS CD> IT DOESN@T MATTER BUT I AM GONNA GET MAD ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT@S IMMATURE YET FUN TO BE ANGRY AT THINGS THAT DON@T MATTER! WHO CARES ONE IOTA ABOUT THIS CD? NOT YOU> I KNOW THAT MUCH> SO I AM JUST GONNA SPEW BILE AND BE AN ARSEHOLE BECAUSE I CAN AND MAYBE HAVE A GIGGLE INTO THE BARGAIN. wOOt!
First up we have Waterdown who are diabolical. They play kind of irritating post-hardcore that is like bad Texas is the Reason crossed with awful metal. People actually buy this shit? I find it comical. The second song has highly funny cheese parts mixed up with chug guitar. The sung vocals are just causing me to giggle like a little girl. Wow, it has a political sample. For shits sake. Who does this appeal to? It is good on no levels, apart from the top level of a multi-storey car park, where it is being dropped onto the pavement several hundred feet below. Cocking shite.
Next up we have Snapcase. These dudes look about 40. The singer yells really loud and they play basic metal. Maybe they will be the next Rage Against the Machine. If they are, I hope they write a song that will allow me and Simon to pretend to hate each other when in the Waterfront on a drunken haze of a Saturday night. I skipped this track after 90 seconds, and I only lasted that long because I was trying to think of something funny to write.
The last band is called Somehow Hollow, and their song is called “Busted Wings & Rusted Halos”, dudes they must be emo as fuck like Indian Summer or something. They have cheesey pop punk riffs, it’s Blink 182 covering rubbish Get Up Kids. This is truly evil. All bands that sound like this should promise to never release any records, and if they do, they aren’t allowed to put their own CD in the case, they have to put Four Minute Mile in there instead.
Um. If you like any of these bands go read http://genericpunkreviewsitethatthinkitspriviledgedtoreceivefreerecords.com. I would rather never receive any free record again from anyone than have to review phonus-balonus, soulless, spiritless, insincere, passionless codswallop like this on a regular basis.