This Town Needs Guns - Animals - CD (2008)

Labels: Big Scary Monsters Records
Review by: Andy Malcolm

Haha, they named every song after an animal! This Town Needs Nuns are infuriatingly fiddly. It’s all twiddle, fiddle, wibble wankery. The music is so masturbatory that it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that every member (FNAR FNAR) of this band was blind. I just listened to the Rockets and Bluelights 10″, and it made me wistful. It made me realise just how unlistenable This Town Needs Huns are. The sad fact is that about 2 bands in the world have a clue when it comes to taking influence from the mid west emo period, and This Town Needs Buns is most definitely not one of them. The fact that the vocals sound like an MTVmo Radiohead do not help either. I can barely make it through a couple of tracks here, it is so onanistic that I feel like posting them some tissues. WIDDLE WIDDLE WIDDLE. Tim fucking Kinsella you have so much to answer for! I am thinking of inventing a time machine and eradicating him from history post the Cap’n Jazz LP, although I am not entirely sure this would work. There will still be some twits out there who decide to be influenced by all the shitty bits of Cap’n Jazz, and I really don’t want to have to delete Schmap’n Schmazz too.

Is there a non-cheesy way of expressing the fact that I am sighing heavily? *heavy sigh*? No, I thought not. And so, I bid a not so fond farewell so the auto-eroticism of This Town Needs Puns, for their utter wankery has rather distressed me. JUST PLAY A TUNE. PLAY A MELODY. ANYTHING. JUST STOP WITH THE MATH AND THE TWIDDLE. OR LISTEN TO THE LOOK MEXICO ALBUM. THANKS.