Labels: I Hate
Review by: Nick Sharp
As any lazy oik should, I “” unfamiliar with Reino Ermitano “” got some face-time in with both Google and MySpace to fill in the many dismal blanks afforded me by the detail-lite promo disc: the band is from Peru, and the little sub-heading on MySpace declares that they play “Witch Doom’. This, of course, has nothing to do with the band what put out that piss-boring “Seer’ LP a couple of years back, but instead refers to the deepest, darkest, most funereal, female-vocalised aesthetic promised by a quick fact-check and the inflences mentioned.
That list of influences makes for thrilling reading: Pentagram (pointed hard riff and a serious approach to structure “” yup!), Celtic Frost (a dense, baroque gloom “” yup!), Uriah Heap (an old-world vibe and busy vox – yup!) and Gravy Train (insipid, short-shorts gay singalongs “” huh?).
Opener, “El Despertar’, immediately betrays a welcome interest in doom of the “classic’ mode rather than the slow, slow, slower approach “” all Geezer Butler groove and ornate, prog-inflected lead lines. The vocal – sung rather than ur-grunted “” is subject to multi-tracking and sizeable reverbs, taking us onto the set of the original 4AD Andes-set giallo. Curious. This initial intrigue dissipates quickly as the distinct lack of dynamic or gesture causes the product to register more dull than cryptically austere.
Reino Ermitano (or, after Babelfish-consultation, Hermit Kingdom) go on to deliver a further nine songs that even out at the five/six minute mark.The glumness is overwhelming, and the utter blankness distracts the listener from what starts to sound a little like Thalia Zedek throwing a bizarrely restrained shit-fit over some fairly well-played and rather drab detuned passages of riff, occasionally spiked with soloing that gets more self-conscious as the record continues.
In time, the delay pedal is dropped-in and the mandolin is pulled-out, all of little consequence and utterly incapable of alleviating the near-total lack of personality on display.
It’s a particularly frustrating item to review on account of its near-complete unwillingness to offer anything to develop an opinion on and, as such, bored my cock right off.