Twisted Wheel - We Are Us - CD (2009)

Labels: Columbia
Review by: Andy Malcolm

Here’s a perfect example of why you are supposed to have a look at Collective before you send something in. One swift glance at the Kaiser Chiefs reviews should have been enough to convince Columbia Records (?!) from sending this in. Then again, Columbia Records, sending stuff to shitty little webzines like us? My mind is blown, twice over. Anyway, Twisted Wheel sound exactly like how an alt-rock band on Columbia Records is supposed to sound like. They sound like Chris Moyles would play them whilst you are driving to your shitty office job at 8.30 to waste your time flirting with mostly uninterested girls who read Heat Magazine. At the end of your rather wasted day of trying to find something on Facebook worth looking at, you drive home to your girlfriend (who you’ll grudgingly put up with until someone better appears, so long as she’ll let you play XBox all night), and listen to the exact same music that was playing at 8.30. The second song on here has some eyebrow raising attempts at Johnny Rotten vocals and the third song is acoustic.

Are you a wanker? Do you like shitty music? Then here’s a band that you’ll be dripfed providing that all the seemingly random events that are required to drop into place for a shitty band to be given a shot at stardom occur. Wonderful.