Labels: New Model Label
Review by: Graeme Cunningham
Do you ken what a Speedjacker is? Me neither. I wasn’t sure if it was a real thing, or just a result of English not being this band’s first language.
Turns out, its a real thing! Well, at least a Speedjack is. To quote from the web page; “Speedjack is the ideal socket to allow quick and easy levelling of your caravan.” so there you go. Its something for Caravans. I deduce from this, that perhaps these Italians enjoy roaming the country side in a red open top Alpha Romeo, playing merry havoc with the stability of caravans all over the European union. For example, Heinz returns from a glorious day Toblerone hunting in Switzerland, when disaster! He discovers Some rotten Speedjackers have been at his Coachman single berth and over extended his port side support strut. The hooligans!
So fucking with your caravan aside, what are speedjackers all about? Speedjackers are all about the RAWK®. Not in the way that say, a band like AC/DC are all about the rock though. You know when you get a punk/metal/hardcore band who throw in some RAWK® “stylings” if you will? some essence of RAWK® flavouring? ie, not really very rock and roll, more like a synthesised version of what people who have never tasted rock and roll imagine it to taste like. Banana flavouring being a perfect example. I definitely get what these guys are going for. In their heads it sounds like Turbonegro, problem is in actuality its a lot more Back Yard Babies.
Good rock music is one of the most deceptively difficult art forms to get right. At its core it needs great songs. It also works best when there is some implied threat, a sense of menace, danger… Speedjackers don’t really have either of these elements. Which is a shame. Its not a bad record, I almost feel guilty I don’t like it more. There is enthusiasm a plenty. The intro and first track come off the best (added organ gets a big thumbs up here). Transferred from the sterile CD playback experience, you could probably enjoy this a hole lot more (yes, that is a long winded way of saying I think it’d work better live, which is about as lazy a music reviewing gets, sorry).
I’m not joking about the red Alpha Romeo either. There’s a picture of them on the sleeve driving it down the road. WTF? Guys. Next time get a hearse or something. The sports car makes you look like a bunch of students from St Andrews out for a Jolly in Daddies car.